Chicken Soup for the humorless soul.

Yesterday was my now 13 yr old sister's birthday.
Let me take you step by step through my day...
Just kidding. I won't antagonize you that way. Haha.

Scene 1.

So I woke up yesterday morning about 8 hearing happy birthday being belted from across the hallway.
I had forgot it was her birthday and almost thought it was mine for a minute. ;) Not really, but, I sat there listening in awe to these lyrics.

"Happpppppppy Birthdeeeee to meeeeeeee.
Happy birthdeeeee to me.
Happy birthdeeeee to meeeeee....
happy birthdeeeee to meeeeeeee...."

It was in that moment I realized it was Beka's birthday and she was singing Happy Birthday to herself!
:) It totally made my day. I was also happy to remember I had bought her some Victoria's Secret body spray a couple of weeks ago. (What an awesome sister am I?)
So I quickly gave it to her and confessed I had NOT forgot.

Scene 2.

This has nothing to do with Birthday's but it happened yesterday.
And had to do with two days earlier.
So two days earlier Whitney and Ashley and I were in this amazing new boutique down town and Whitney and I bought this quite large, cutsie corner shelf to put in our room.....ahem. I bought a quite large, cutsie corner shelf to put in our room. It was too large to fit in teh trunk of our smallish little car so we told them we would come back later.... The next morning, I woke up thinking...we have absolutely no corner to put that large cutsie shelf in.....so.....yesterday. I spent about an hour finding a place for that stupid shelf. Yet, it remains sitting in my floor with no place to call it's own....Whitney lay on the bed histerically laughing as I try to find a home for that DUMB shelf.....for I quickly went from loving it to hating it. It taunts me. Every time I walk in the room, I tell her how much I dislike the thing. ;) Haha....I guess it will be soon finding itself in the Goodwill pile I have yet to start.

Scene 3

Dinner with the grandparents for the little sister's "birthdeeee".

So we were eating dinner and afterwards two of my younger sisters decided to give their present to my dear Beka, their present was to present a play. Ha.....

I hear giggling coming from their room. Then my dad sputter and laugh. I look up and soon hear loud humming. Six year old Sarah comes out singing and twirling an umbrella wearing a Hannah Montanna outfit....Ohhhh dear.

Enter Rachel. Wearing a large dress and a sheet. She comes out, saying she needs a room.....(my internal question was....why?) Sarah directs her where she should go....Rachel turns around and fall flat on her back then says, "excuse me...I slipped on some....precipritation." *laughter erupts* Then she gets up, looks around at everyone and states...."I am a moterin woman! What moterin furnishing!" (modern. for the humorless soul)

The End

Disclaimer.

I promise to never try play writing again.

The FOurth, fifth and sixth "le jour de Noël" (Christmas Day.)

Yah yah... I know. I got way behind.

No fear though I have many funny and embarassing and adventuresome stories. For you. :)

So...day four....I actually can't remember what I did Thursday so let's fast forward to Friday. :)

Friday was def an embarrassing and funny story. :)
Whit and I were in the movie store picking a movie to rent and some friends called us to go to see Old Dogs. (hilarious) So we did a little shopping. Our hub cap thing feel off in the Hasting parking lot. :) I opened my door to run and get it and it rolled right to my door. Points. Please watch this video. The hub cap reminded me of this video. I did that in the parking. I used the hubcap as a steering wheel and this lady was tlaking on the phone staring at me while Whit was driving so I pretended to drive, and pretended to swerve and her face got the uttermost alarm on it. :D Hehehhe. Whitney almost wrecked driving.
    Then, we went to Chicken Express to smuggle into the movie, Kathrine and I were dancing in the parking lot to embarrass Whitney. I left my talented dancing partner to leap onto the table outside ballet style...my foot caught an inch of the bench, slid off, smashed my leg, my face hit the table, and I commenced to hysterical laughter and the people inside saw and pretended not to notice.

Saturday........................
SHOPPING.
Ashley and I went to finish Christmas shopping.
We were in the mall walking and those stupid people that work at the booths in the middle were doing their job. THis gay man grabbed my arm saying, "You like my hair straightened? You want to see my straightener? You straighten your hair." Does it look like I straighten my hair? No. I told him my interest was on the downside. He grabs Ashley's arm, "You straighten your hair, yes?" Ashley told the truth, yes. He grabs her, plops her in a chair, me in the mean time protesting telling him we don't care for his straightener, telling him we don't want what he's selling....telling him to jump in the dumpster. He won't shut up about the straightner so I roll my eyes, huff and puff and sit down on a bench. Ashley later tells me he was talking to her saying, "Guuuuurl, she don't like me. Yeeer friend, she mean to me. That guurrrrl. She a mean guuuurrrrl. She can geet ovuuur eeeeet." (accent and all) I'm watching, he straightens her hair then starts to curl it! we were almost out of time so I formulated a plan. I arched up, said, "hi, dad says for us to come home. goodbye sir." he goes, "no more five minute? no?" Me, "no, so just straighten that curl quickly and we will exit. hasta la vista baby." Yah, this "guuuurl" didn't like him.

Sunday.
Candle light blow up.
Ok, our church did a candle light service and little Emily that is three I was sitting beside, had a candle she was holding quite responsibly. Then....all the sudden she starts violently shaking this open flame! I make her be still. She looks up at me and says....it would have been pretty.

Today will come tomorrow....if that makes sense.

The Third day continued.

On the Third day of Christmas, 


As Whitney said, "the tv show COPS played out in our driveway." 


I told you I would get more adventurous. I didn't lie. Adventure found me. :D YAY!

Some drunk people came to our house for gas. I thought it was my grandparents car, I went outside. Promptly realized it wasn't them at all. High tailed it inside. Got my mom out of bed. The drunk man came to our front door he sounded mean. My mom yelled at them through the door.  We called my police/Judge/Grandpa. He came. He got the guy to go back to his truck. He frisked him. Some lady got freaked out in their pimp truck. She jumped out the back with a big dog. started running away. We got scared. My fire fighter/uncle came and a police man. They arrested the drunk man. They got another drunk man out of the drivers seat (there was some real action then) he fought, they grabbed him, laid him against the truck. It took three men to cuff him. (meanwhile WHitney and I had our front window open hanging our faces out watching. :) We a a pretty legit looking BB gun to protect us...hahah, I swear it looks like a 9mm. Anyways. It was some pretty sweet action Jackson, they went searching behind the house with flashlights, searched everywhere. Haha. They never found the other two people that dissapeared. But wwe all lived happily ever after. :D

Whitney ended up sleeping with the pretty legit BB gun in her bed with her

My grandpa later told me that the man had told him that the lady at the door was mean, cause she was yelling at him and wouldn't give him any gas. Haha. :)

All in all, I had a legit day. :)
L-E-G-I-T.
 Merry Christmas.

The 12 Days Of Christmas :)

I missed three days so I'm doing three today.

On the first day of Christmas:

My little brother successfully opened four gifts without anyone finding out till later, I saw two of mine and won't tell anyone I know what they're giving me.


On the second day of Christmas:

I went to Ihop after a victorious basketball game and almost ordered a Rooty Tooty fresh and Fruity, with extra strawberrys. I got the Strawberry cheesecake New York pancakes....with extra strawberrys. Then everyone had to freakin' laugh when I said the extra strawberrys part....in the end I had too many strawberrys. :)
Only Tim Hawkins fans are gonna get that.

On the third day of Christmas:

I wore Dr. Pepper pajamas till lunch time. :)
I thought it was festive. :P

I'll continue couinting down the days of Christmas tomorrow!!!! I promise there will be more adventure involved. :)

See ya lata!

Give Thanks.

It is not how much we have, 

but how much we enjoy, 

that makes happiness. 

–Anonymous